Never Let A Good Disappointment Go To Waste

I was in my late twenties and working for an IT company. My manager at the time, who was also the co-owner of the business, was a smart guy, well organized, pragmatic and with a maximum focus on results. We agreed right from the start on my objectives and priorities, as well as a bonus scheme to reward my efforts.

I remember I was enthusiastic and engaged, going in head first from the very beginning, trying to absorb as much knowledge as I could, and at the same time, to earn as much money as possible. I had a low salary, so my attention was aimed at generating profit to get a more consistent bonus.

During my first year, I started to excel in expanding and managing my portfolio, keeping a close eye both on quality and finances of my projects. And as a consequence, almost all of my clients, who wanted new infrastructure implementations, opted for a maintenance contract afterwards as well. This was truly a booster for my financial results, having a recurring income.

In the last quarter of that year, during which things went extremely well, I doubled my results versus the agreed target. We had a custom, that at the end of each quarter we would have a discussion, during which both my manager and I would evaluate what went well or not, going over the quarterly results. I remember that I was eagerly awaiting that particular discussion, because I knew that I had great results. But, that time, my manager repeatedly postponed our discussion. I remember asking myself: What could be the problem? That was until finally, after several insistences from my side, we sat down to discuss the matter. However, to my surprise, my perspective was not the same as my manager’s. In other words, he believed that although the numbers were indeed very good, in reality my effort was not that substantial, because I had an advantage coming from some old leads that had helped me obtain the results, and in his view, I was profiting from a favorable circumstance. Total BS…I knew it and he knew it too, because those leads were also generated by me in the previous months. And although the bonus scheme was crystal clear, agreed upon from the very first day of employment, he considered that I “deserved” only half the bonus. No matter how much I tried to explain to him, it was in vain — he was hanging to his opinion. I saw that I had no chance at that moment to convince him otherwise, so I agreed to end the discussion there. In my mind, however, I was thinking about how to refresh my speech to handle the problem better. I didn’t like that idea one bit, of ​​leaving hard-earned money on the table. So, a few days later, after further insistence from my part, we sat down at the table again. I tried to explain to him that we had had the same agreement from the very beginning, that in every quarter up until that date we had been playing by the same rules, and that my results had evolved progressively up to that point. After listening to my explanations, he agreed and told me that because I had evolved and managed things better, it was justified to increase my target. I thought that’s totally fair and told him that it seemed justified to me, moreover, I said we should do that once a year, to get things adjusted to reality. However, what threw me off was the fact that he wanted to modify the target starting with the quarter that had just finished. In other words, we were modifying the rules after the game had ended.

I remember that moment I could hardly control my nervousness…I felt on the one hand the lack of respect, on the other hand a cruel injustice. I breathed, trying to keep calm, because I understood that I would not be able to convince him otherwise. I stepped on my ego, and although I felt that as one of the greatest injustices that I suffered during my career, I chose to leave things as they were, and to end the discussion.

During the following quarter, I was working on the new target, the newly increased one. I got mobilized and told myself that if I managed to do it once, I would do it again. Moreover, the discussion with my manager had also given me a boost: I wanted to show him that I was capable of generating value consistently, and that what had happened a quarter ago was not just a lucky coincidence. And in that quarter, I was all over the place: I worked overtime constantly, I tried not to miss any possible opportunity and I used all my knowledge to generate new income. During that quarter, I even launched a new service, with excellent potential. In the end, when I drew the line, I was again over the target, even with the newly increased one.

But, just like in a bad dream, the same scenario from three months before was starting to unfold again. The discussion about the results kept getting postponed, and I started asking myself again questions about what to expect from my manager. And finally, when we sat down at the table to discuss, it was a copy-paste discussion of the previous one. The conclusion was, that he had actually miscalculated the new target, and that it was actually too low, and therefore too easy to reach. So, he needed to increase it again. And again, it was applied retroactively. At that moment, I decided that I would not tolerate such injustice and humiliation anymore, and I fought back. I said that I did not agree with such behavior, that it is not normal to have that lack of predictability, to change the rules during the game, or even worse, at the end of the game. And that it will inevitably lead to a decrease in the quality of my work, because my motivation has reached freezing levels.

Observing my stance, and also the vehemence in my voice, he asked me to step out of the office, leaving my laptop, company mobile phone, and access card on the desk. Without any other explanation. I complied and left.

Over the next two days, I had reflected on what had happened. Then I realized that it wasn’t about my achievements at work, and that it was actually about me. My manager had a problem with me. It didn’t matter how big or small my target was, all that mattered was for me not to exceed the target, because that made him uncomfortable. I was too “good”, and he didn’t want to have a champion next to him. He considered that was his role, and if someone else had too good results, he would be shadowed. And his ego couldn’t swallow that. He had to be the only champion. I, on the other hand, had to make a choice: either I would obey his rules, namely to limit my actions and results in such a way that he would be satisfied and I would get my reward based on the considerations that he sees as relevant…or I would follow my path and continue to grow, but elsewhere.

That was a moment of introspection for me. I had to sit down and analyze what had truly made me feel good throughout my life. And I came to the conclusion that the freedom to be authentic and to develop myself to the best of my abilities had always been the constant thing that made feel significant. And at that moment I felt more strongly than ever that freedom was truly what I needed. So, I took the decision to start looking for another job.

After those two days, I got a called by one of my colleagues, who told me that my manager was waiting for me at the office again. I went back to work, but from that moment on I only did the bare minimum to avoid being fired. My focus was on finding another job. I didn’t want to leave right then, because I didn’t want to give him any satisfaction. I wanted to show him that I could find a better alternative, and in a short time. Within a month, I already had a signed offer from another company.

I went to his office with my resignation in one hand, and the freshly signed offer in the other. I put the resignation on his table, letting him know that I was ending the collaboration. Regarding my decision to leave, I think he was expecting it, because he didn’t even glimpse. However, when he asked me why I was leaving, I chose to show him the offer signed with the new company. Then he couldn’t hide his surprise anymore, when he saw that my new financial offer was more than double. He fell flat on his face. I left the office. After a few minutes, he called me back again and said that he would match the offer I had received from the new company. I just smiled at him, and said: “No, thank you!”, and left his office.

Before I left, I was managing over 60% of the company’s portfolio. I had found new clients with exponential growth prospects on some services that I had created myself. Things could have developed beautifully, with everyone winning. But my manager, instead of looking at these things with an opportunistic eye and treating me as a partner to help continue the company’s growth, chose to let himself be guided by ego, and to preserve his role as the sole champion of that place. I, on the other hand, chose to leave and continue my career path. That was one of the best choices I made, because since then I have come across many other people who have inspired me and I have become a much-improved version of myself.